Dealing With Difficult People in Strata
When disagreement becomes behaviour you need to manage
A difficult conversation becomes more manageable when you stay calm, separate the issue from the behaviour, explain the correct process and authority, set a respectful boundary and make one realistic commitment you can record and keep. Acknowledging a concern does not require you to agree with every assumption.
What you need to know
- Focus on the conduct in front of you rather than labelling the person. A legitimate strata issue can still be raised in an unacceptable way.
- Acknowledge the concern and its impact without confirming facts, responsibility or authority that have not been established.
- A calm explanation, a clear boundary and a reliable next step protect both the relationship and the professional record.
Manage the conversation without losing the process.
1. Stay calm and separate the issue from the behaviour
Slow the conversation down. Identify the practical issue that needs attention and the behaviour that is making discussion harder. Deal with each separately: the issue still needs a fair process, while the behaviour may require a clear boundary.
2. Acknowledge the concern without accepting an incorrect assumption
Show that you have heard the person's concern and the impact they describe. You can acknowledge frustration without agreeing that the owners corporation, committee, manager or another party is at fault before the facts are checked.
3. Explain the process and who has authority
State what is known, what must still be checked and who can actually decide. Distinguish the strata manager's coordinating role from decisions reserved for the committee, owners corporation or an appropriately qualified adviser.
4. Set a respectful boundary
Be direct and measured. For example: ‘I want to help progress the issue, but I cannot continue the conversation while personal remarks or threats are being made. We can continue when we can speak respectfully.’ A boundary should describe the conduct, the required change and what will happen if it continues.
5. Agree the next step
Finish with one practical action, the person responsible and a realistic update date. Do not promise a result that depends on a committee, contractor, insurer, expert or another party. Promise the next action or update that remains within your control.
6. Document and follow through
Make a factual file note recording the concern, material statements, boundary, agreed action and due date. Then provide the promised update—even if the final answer is still not available. Reliable follow-through is part of managing the conversation.
7. Escalate when behaviour becomes unsafe or unreasonable
Follow workplace safety, complaint and escalation procedures when conduct includes threats, abuse, harassment, repeated unreasonable demands or a credible safety concern. Immediate danger comes before service expectations: leave or end the contact safely and seek emergency assistance when required.
Raise the concern. Make the next step clear.
Make the next action visible
Long correspondence can mix a repair report, dissatisfaction with service, assumptions about motives and several requests. Separate the practical issue from any complaint about how it has been handled. Both can deserve a response, but they may need different people and processes.
This is communication best practice. A short email does not need to suppress a serious concern, abandon evidence or give up a formal complaint. Put the key request first and attach or list the supporting chronology.
A fictional owner’s concern
Subject: Returning leak near Unit 12 — inspection and update requested
The stain near Unit 12 returned after Tuesday’s rain. I have attached two dated photographs and the earlier work-order reference. Please confirm whether the source has been investigated, what interim action is needed and when we can expect the next update. The previous update date passed without a response; please also confirm who will coordinate this matter.
The message identifies an observation, supporting records, practical questions and the service concern. It does not need an accusation about someone’s motive to make those points clear.
A fictional manager’s response
Thank you for the photographs. I understand the concern about the returning stain and the missed update. I will check the previous scope and report, confirm the immediate safety position and arrange the next investigation within our authority. Permanent work will follow the appropriate decision process. I will update you by 3 pm Thursday, including any information or decision still outstanding.
Use a time you can meet. An update can explain a delay and the next action; it should not promise a repair or insurance outcome controlled by someone else.
If the email contains many repeated points
- Group related issues once and answer the material questions. Do not dismiss a new safety report because earlier correspondence was lengthy.
- Correct a material factual error with the record and date. Avoid responding to every adjective.
- Separate an allegation from established facts and from professional advice.
- Identify who can decide and what is needed before that decision.
- Use one coordinated response, action owner and update date. Attach a chronology where it helps.
- If conduct requires a boundary or formal escalation, use the existing workplace and complaint process while keeping the underlying issue moving.
A final check before sending
Checklist: clear issue · dated evidence · specific request · factual reply · authority boundary · named next action · realistic update.
Check names, dates, attachments and unsupported claims if using AI to help draft. Read the final message yourself. Use the existing Tough Conversation Planner and Conversation Boundary & Escalation Checklist if the discussion is becoming difficult.
Sources and review — 21 October 2026
- NSW Fair Trading — who’s who in strata ↗
- SSMA 2015 — s 37(1), committee conduct and information duties ↗
NSW only. Current official provisions and the listed government guidance reviewed on 21 October 2026. The practical method and fictional examples are Academy wording. No case outcome, proposed reform or Queensland rule is presented as NSW operational law.
A simple structure for difficult conversations.
Listen properly before responding. Identify the issue, the impact and the question the person wants answered.
Explain what is known, what is not yet known, who has authority and what still needs to be checked.
Confirm the next action, who is responsible and the date by which it will occur or be updated.
Record the commitment, follow through and provide the promised update—even when the final answer remains outstanding.
Watch for
- Arguing about every statement instead of identifying the concern that needs a response
- Agreeing with an unverified assumption simply to calm the conversation
- Promising an outcome that another person or body must decide
- Allowing personal abuse to continue because the underlying issue is important
Escalate when
- There is a threat, credible safety concern, harassment or personal abuse
- Repeated unreasonable conduct continues after a clear position and boundary
- The issue requires formal complaint handling, legal advice or management involvement
- A person's wellbeing, privacy or workplace safety may be affected
Knowing what to say is one thing. Saying it well under pressure is another.
Inside the protected Academy, members rehearse realistic conversations, review what worked and replay the difficult part using a clearer approach. These previews explain the capability being practised without revealing the complete exercises, participant roles, pressure points, facilitator guidance or model responses.
Managing an Angry Owner
Practise hearing the concern, lowering the temperature and setting a respectful boundary while keeping the issue moving.
The Committee Discussion Becomes Personal
Practise redirecting personal remarks, protecting fair participation and returning the group to the decision it must make.
We Do Not Have the Answer Yet
Practise being honest about what is not yet known while taking ownership of a clear update date.
Saving a Building When Trust Is at Risk
Practise listening without becoming defensive and agreeing on a measurable recovery plan.
How is easy when you know the why.
Build confidence by practising the words, decisions, boundaries and follow-through that difficult strata conversations require.